“I told the boys that I care twice as much about them as I do the girls because they’re twice as important to our society.”
I shook my head vigorously as soon as I heard it. While I had signed up for my Fulbright fully well knowing that I might confront attitudes towards race, religion, and gender that were surprising and unsettling, I hadn’t anticipated hearing something like this — especially not from my female mentor who serves as the head of the English Department and has been the main breadwinner of her family for five years.
Maybe it was the culture shock which had slowly begun to seep into me, or maybe it was my own experiences of going to all girls high school and beginning surrounded by strong, empowering women, but I spent the next week in a seeming daze over the comment my mentor had made.
Suddenly, I found myself furiously scribbling a text to a fellow ETA (English Teaching Assistant): “Hey, remember how we wanted to host that female empowerment camp? I really think we should do it.”
Terengganu, where I live in Malaysia, is many things, but diverse it is not. The population is majority Malay, practicing a very unique, strict, and conservative form of Islam. Wearing a tudung (hijab) is compulsory and women dress conservatively, covering past their ankles and to their wrists. However, in describing what Terengganu is like, I am hyper-cognoscente of the current political climate in the US and the number of assumptions which stem from what I say. For this reason, I want to emphasize that in spite of the sometimes shocking realities of living in a conservative Muslim country, Malaysia is still incredibly progressive in some ways that the US is not. For example, the gender ratio of men to women in STEM careers is nearly equal.
In other ways, Malaysia and the U.S. are more similar than what you would imagine. For example, while the majority of my female students are at the top of their classes academically, they are generally less shy to participate in class, even when they have the right answer. They tend to possess little confidence in their abilities and capacities. Low self-esteem, it seems, is universal and endemic
So that is why early on the morning on September 21st, I find myself lugging 100 white hijabs into a small auditorium an hour away from home in Dungun. After months of planning, collaborating, and securing funding from the United States Embassy, my fellow ETA, Sarah, and I, were finally hosting a two-day long statewide Female Empowerment Summit for 100 of our Form 4 (11th grade) students.
Over the course of two days, the students from 10 schools across the state of Terengganu would participate in activities aimed at instilling and cultivating a sense of confidence, self-compassion, esteem, and worth as well as creating positive female support groups.
Through the weekend, the students worked together, having discussions about female role models, learning about self-compassion, working through insecurities, tie-dying hijabs, doing yoga, re-framing the word “beautiful”, and giving group affirmations. To varying extents, the activities required girls to write, read, and share their opinions on different topics in English (such as how their insecurities make them feel, things they can do to be kinder to themselves, what they find beautiful about each other, and future self-care goals), increasing not only their confidence in themselves, but also the English language.
Naturally, I recognized that one weekend may not radically change my students’ perceptions of themselves or alter the unique challenges they face as young women in Terengganu. I do, however, believe that at the very least this camp planted a seed within my students which will continue to grow and blossom into long term confidence, curiosity, and zeal. One “victory” which happened the Monday after the camp serves as evidence enough of this: My previously hyper-shy student, Batrisya, ran up to me the asking if she could read a poem in front of the school during weekly English Day assembly.
As for me, this weekend was important in many different ways. For one, it solidified my interest and passion in working towards gender equality and female empowerment. It also, importantly, allowed me to “give back” in my own way to the all-girls high school which I attended, Oak Knoll. It was truly a blessing and an honor.
Greatfull 